Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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