Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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