Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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