Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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