Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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