My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize