It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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