the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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