How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize