cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize