just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize