I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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