So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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