this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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