Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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