the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize