Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
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She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize