..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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