nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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