I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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