Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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