Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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