I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize