So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize