when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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