I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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