She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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