theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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