i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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