I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize