I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All the doctor said was why
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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