That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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