Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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