Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize