woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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