I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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