Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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