I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize