We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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