Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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