Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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