do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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