We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize