a queef is a wish your heart makes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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