I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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