you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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