This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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