Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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