i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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