trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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