i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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