when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize