Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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