I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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